On an impulsive lark I decided today to go see G.I.JOE:The Rise Of Cobra.
While I am not counted among the numerous adult fans of the 80’s cartoon series I did watch it from time to time and enjoyed it for its good natured cheesy fun. It had the usual hallmarks of a cartoon series that was designed primarily as an extended commercial for toys. There were lots of characters and new ones introduced regularly. (Gotta have action figures, both good guys and bad guys.) There were also lots of vehicles and tons of equipment. (What good is an action figure that doesn’t have lots of extra stuff?) The bad guys never won, the good guys never compromised their ideals, no one ever died, and a lesson was usually learned.
Despite all that the series could be fun to watch. They sometimes delved into interesting character development and I rather liked the interesting power dynamics that happened among the leaders of the bad guys, Cobra. ( I confess to once wanting to run a strategic level RPG with the players taking the roles of various Cobra Leaders. I reserved Cobra Commander and the Baroness as NPCs. The game never really happened, but it would have been fun.)

As far as the director of this movie was concerned I had doubts, grave doubts, about his ability to make a watchable film Stephen Summers has made only one good film in my opinion. (1999’s The Mummy.) The rest of his films failed to work for me and usually descended into total crap. Still, for the morning bargain price I decided I would give him another chance. My sweetie-wife dropped me off at the mall and I went in alone. (Despite the British actors in the film she had no interest.)
Okay, I’ll have to say that Stephen Summers had TWO good movies in him. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra was a good film. It had only one moment where I forced myself to be silent and not scream at the screen. Now, when I say it was a good movie you should not compare it to something like Citizen Kane, or the Caine Mutiny. Rather for a big, over-the-top cartoon of a movie Stephen Summers hit the nail on the head, This is a movie about action, and gadgets, and good guys and bad guys. If you go into it expecting silly super-science that yields gadgets and vehicles galore and you are not looking for ‘realism’ then this film works.
The plot is simple, this is an establishment movie. However what it establishes is not the good guys’ team, JOE has been around for about four years in the story line this film establishes the genesis of the bad guys, Cobra, We follow the film primarily through the eyes of JOE’s two newest recruits, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans). After a shipment of warheads is attacked by an unknown terrorist force, Duke and Ripcord join G.I.JOE and help in fighting this new threat and in recovering the warheads. Along the way an ensemble of good guys and bad guys are revealed all with interwoven back-stories, some of which did manage to surprise me. The characters are given simple, but direct and powerful, motivations which drive their actions and present emotionally charged decision along the way.
The film does leave the way open for a sequel — of course. This is about launching a franchise not only of toys but films as well. However, if the rest of the films are written as well then it we should have good summer films for awhile.
Again, this is not drama, this is a popcorn movie. It’s an 80’s cartoon blown-up to theatrical size and pumped full of testosterone and adrenaline.
My scream at the screen moment? Don’t read unless you don’t care about spoilers………
I warned you.
Near the climax of the film the JOEs are assault a Cobra base on the ocean’s floor under the polar ice cap. The battle is going badly for Cobra and the order is given to exploded charges in the ice, break it free from the cap and have it fall on the base killing everyone inside.
Stephen Summers two words: ICE FLOATS! It does not sink and fall through the water. What’s really sad is this could have been fixed with a little re-working of the script. Instead of explosive charges simply say that Cobra had rigged the ice cap with large scale super-cavitators. (Cavitation is the forming of vacuums in water or fluid. Propellers do it at high speed.) Under cavitation the water would become like air, the Ice would fall and fall at full speed just like air — crushing your base flat. (The Navy is working on this principle for high speed subs.)
No that won’t work. The volume of ice displaced will still way less than the water it is displaces, and therefore still float, but it likely would have worked enough for until you walked out of the theater and started thinking about it.
This is a boy’s movie. It’s action, and violence, (though no blood.) and pretty eye-candy. I’m happy that the eye-candy for a change wasn’t blonde. Redheads and brunettes are more my liking anyway.
Anyway this was a fun film and I am glad I went.